The plight of the child bride

So I saw this headline “Mozambique approves law to combat early marriages” through this link, https://globeafrique.com › Lifestyle and I was ecstatic. This is a new beginning for a young girl out there in Mozambique whose faith was probably to be carted away into some old man’s house to just become a mother to child somewhere. This can be the changing story for most young girls in African rural communities who have been made to believe all they can be good for is tending to the home and having children. Just think of the amount of changes that could be made if most countries could protect the girl child from such deviation. Come to think of it, how can a child raise a child? What can she offer? This is a cause we must fight against and it starts today.

For someone who was born and raised in a rural community, I can share with you the tales of the young bride who knew only one faith. That one day once she had reached puberty with little or no curves still try to protrude and she starts to see flows of blood for which she has no full know to care for, she should be expected to get ready for the next stage of her life; Marriage. This child lives with the ideology that her parents have made the best choice for her and so she soars into the home of a man who has children her age and she becomes a stepmother to her own age group. Imagine that! She is introduced to all kinds of activities in the home and before you know it she soon forgets her childhood and embraces motherhood. She is nurtured into having sexual activities without being educated or even tenderly introduced to it “even though she is underage”. She is manhandled because after all, she is a child bride, a servant, she doesn’t need to enjoy sex but to submit to her husband’s demands at anytime, “even if it hurts”. When she gets diseased with illnesses like Vesicovaginal fistula (VVF) or STDs, she is quickly replaced with another child. This isn’t just sad but vicious.

I was a witness to many girls who had their dreams of becoming doctors, nurses, lawyers, Engineers… shattered because they were from poor backgrounds and all their parents saw for them was a future where they would have lots of children, serve their husbands and maintain a home. Not that this was a bad wish, but for a child with so much to look forward to in life. It was a way of saying a girl has no place in the evolving world because after all, it’s a man’s world.

But not today because the world has changed and like me, I believe we have people and organizations that are ready to champion this cause where we will fight for the right of every girl child in the world. Every girl who has been suppressed into thinking she is not good enough and has nothing to offer. Today we must stand by her to show the world that the future of any nation lies strongly in ensuring than more than half of the female population especially those coming from very poor homes are catered for. They are not forced, manhandled or treated as second class citizens but they are loved, protected and encouraged to be the best of what they can be. They must come forward, believe in themselves and never settle for less. Their backgrounds cannot be a limitation only a story for future generations. This is what Organizations must fight to ensure and this is what the sustainable development goals must stamp on for every young girl in the future.

What is Vanity?

“Vanity of vanities, says the Preacher, vanity of vanities! All is vanity. What does man gain by all the toil at which he toils under the sun?” (Ecclesiastes 1:2-3)

In truth however, to say everything is vanity is to fall into the pit of utter despair. Indeed, if all were vanity, suicide would be justified given that our very life, like the beautiful things we see around us, could be taken as meaningless.

*If it is true that not everything is vanity, then what constitutes vanity?*

Have you ever felt remorseful, or when you had an opportunity to help someone but for some reason decided not to, only to hear that the person died? That is vanity. Again, have you ever looked through your wardrobe only to discover you have clothes you haven’t worn for over a year or more and even though you feel guilty, you still strongly believe you need those clothes? That is vanity.

Herod, having heard of the fame of Jesus Christ represents a classic example of what our first reading is talking about. By killing John the Baptist, Herod thought he was securing a name for himself before his guests as a man of his words, but of what good is a name when you have to spend the rest of your life in guilt, pain and regret?

Dear friends, whatever good that is in your power to do which you refuse to do is vanity. Goodness meant for today which is pushed to tomorrow is meaningless. Tomorrow may never come and the opportunity may never arise again. Forgiveness and mercy postponed is vanity. Who knows if the person you are holding a grudge against will die this night? Forgive now or you might never have the chance again.

Rev. Fr. Abu Reflections 

 

Stigma called Sickler

So, it’s another year to remember those who are anemic, the Sickle Cell group. Some would call it a blood disease but for me, you are just different and NO, it’s not a death sentence but a condition one must find ways to deal with especially now as the pandemic has placed them as vulnerable individuals.

https://www.von.gov.ng/video-world-sickle-cell-day-organisations-call-fo…

This year, I took a moment to reflect on the friends I’ve lost to this dreadful stigma. My Sunday school teacher, Brother Isaiah was the coolest, most respectful person I ever knew in my tender years. It’s been over 20 years since he passed but he made an impression on me that has lasted till this very day.

Gloria Adejoh, My high school classmate and the sweetest girl. She was classy, fun-loving and had so many aspirations even though we were young and didn’t know where we would be heading, she seemed to have it all figured out.

We almost share birthdays and a love for poetry and art. What hurt the most, she got selected to study her dream course; French, but she didn’t live to fulfill it. I wept, it hurt. About 15 years down the line, but I remember her every June and at a time like this.

The list is never-ending. There are women who have been denied the chance to have children or be with their true love because; sickle cell keeps rearing its ugly head reminding them of their limitations.

We need to find a common ground to support all those affected by this hurtful outcome. Awareness isn’t the only way out. As sisters, we should always speak to one another about the importance of getting tested. Tell each other the truth about what happens when you ignore the obvious.

It isn’t just about you but the future after you and the generations of feeble youths you will be breeding if you don’t take a stand. As I said, it hurts but it’s not a death sentence. Your voice is the channel for hope today.

Over the past few months, residents in Nigeria’s Federal capital have been living in fear of the unknown with the off and on protests of the Shia Muslims. This is an Islamic group who come out in their numbers to fight for the cause of one man’s freedom; Ibrahim El Zakzaky.

The journey of this man’s battle with the military forces dates as far back as the 1980s and to this day, the famous El Zakzaky who was a Muslim cleric remains a heroic figure and leader of the Islamic Muslim movement. While he is loved and respected by his followers, on the other hand he has been accused of spearheading an Islamic group tagged with a violent streak and who work in non-conformity with Nigerian legal forces. This battle is a huge worry for the nation especially now where the fight against terrorism is eminent and the strive for peace building is being targeted. The solution can best be a common ground to be reached for the safety of Nigerians and the safety of the leader of the Shia muslims.

Looking at the protests so far took me back to 2014 before I entered the University. I recall how El Zakzaky was staunchly embalmed on the hearts of so many youths back home where he started off in Kaduna, northern Nigeria. They would come out in masses with their Shia flags and posters of their leader. They would raise their voices for freedom of expression to speak for this man. A man who since the inception of the movement had lost six sons! Not to mention the hundreds of lives lost in a bid to fight back military forces.  This is a battle of over 25 years and still counting.

Today, we see history repeating itself as we have more energetic youths who feel passionate about their religious belief so much so that they aim to protect their own even if it would cost them their blood.

Truly, this is a commendable drive coming from the youths of today. To want something so badly even to the point of death is the rarest quality especially in our time. Imagine the progress that could be witnessed if this sort of passion is redirected towards nation building.

For instance, Nigeria being a nation of over 190 million people has a growing population of youths who if well nurtured, can be the country’s speed boat to development. When we talk of development, it’s not about having resources available for reforms nor is it about having accountable leaders on the spot who can whisk development to reality with the available resources. Development is meaningful when it concerns sustaining the future of any nation to ensure that the restructuring of today blossoms into a new economic system that can attend to a growing population over time.

So the big question now is how can we sustain? The simple answer lies in making sure our youths are engaged adequately. Just as we see youths coming out in their masses to protest for one man’s freedom, we need to help the youths in rechanneling their energy to the sustainable development goals.Push them to fight for better government, technological know-how, creating entrepreneurship projects and much more. This will be the key to building a new world system hoped for in the 2023 projection.

As we ponder over this, I leave this message to all youths out there;

When thoughts are driven by success rather than progress,

It becomes the first stage of ambition which leads to limitation.

Often times I hear people say “I am limited because of low

Funds, lack of opportunities, poor motivation…”

Truth, we are our biggest limitation. When you set all eyes

On the price, you will only get a slice of the pie. But when

You set all your energy on the journey to the price,

Then be rest assured you will have a whole table of

Delicacies and you will be spoiled for choice.

So, don’t be your limitations, rather determine your limits.

Horrid Nights

The trisector, always a terrible experience when all you want is a good night sleep. The trisector can keep you up all night imagining what it would be like to live in a jungle. The trisector is all the reminder you need to know your not alone. The forces of nature are there, the musicians are there and the hallow silence is there also. The trisector is all about the darkness, the mosquitoes and the heat!! A taste of three bitter sweet mixtures to give one harsh reality; winter is almost here.

I’M NOT NAKED…

There are trends in the world which cannot be explained. An old man accosted a young voluptuous looking Lady who walked past him wearing a butt tight stretch dress which barely covered her derriere, stiletto shoes that were head spinners to any passer-by and  you don’t want to know what her front looked like. He asked for directions which she politely gave but his next question struck her.” You are such a beautiful young Lady, don’t you feel uncomfortable in those clothes?”. Her response was some what shocking. “What’s wrong with the way i’m dressed, i’m not naked!”.

Hmm… now that was a clear case of the conscience feeling a sense of guilt. The old man wasn’t talking about how she dressed but the comfort. So deep down, she knew her clothes were revealing. She knew her body was exposed and she also knew that the old man hit the nail right on the head with that thought provoking question.

A wake up call to the world today. why do we do the things we do? You know its wrong, you feel it wrong but you just don’t want to hear it’s wrong. Your body is you pride. Nurture and protect it because its a sacred temple. People will respect your body only when the see the way you treat it.

A globe with vegetation

A land with boundaries

still waters that run deep…

That is my body.

 

The Church is Responsible for This

Candice Czubernat

by Candice Czubernat

I hold the church personally responsible for any LGBTQ person who walks away from God and Christianity. Every week, I get emails from individuals all across the country who are full of desire to be a part of a church. They want to go on the church-wide mission trip, join the choir, serve in the youth group and attend a small group. These are people who long to serve God, connect with other Christians and be a part of a wider community.

Sounds pretty good, right?

Here’s the heartbreaking part: they write me because the church won’t let them do those things and they don’t know what to do.

Their church has found out they are LGBTQ and because of this are no longer welcome to join in these church activities they long to be a part of. The worst are the emails I get are from young…

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FACE THE FEAR

What’s the best solution syndrome for someone who wants to overcome the fear of taking huge decisions and risks in life?

Please don’t tell me to take a step of confidence because its beginning to sound more like a broken record than the reality of overcoming timidity (I mean that feeling of the heart beating like crazy, sweaty palms, bulged eyes and if you want to add, stammering).

HEIGHT FACTOR

 

 Here go the lovely couple of those times but it’s not their love that caught my eye, it’s the height difference and how they could keep it all going for 10 years. Whoa! Then a young girl’s story came back to me. There was this lovely girl I knew who out of the belief of being the “IT” girl always said she would never stand for anything less. By less i mean when it comes to picking the guys in her life. She had the silhouette guy all built up in her imagination. That tall hunky guy whose got the huge chest and great abs and if I might add, cute butt to finish it all off. She was always so sure that nothing less would come her way, but life is a place where we are mostly dealt with those reality cards where the things we desire most aren’t what comes our way and that can only mean one thing. They aren’t good enough for us. This lovely girl after having fantastic and an all consuming love connection with this swell guy via letters finally came to that long awaited day of meeting that one and only true love. To her dismay he was nothing like the Mills and Boons she had read and had so shallowly thought he would be but in the end he turned out to be another small looking cute dude with small hands and a simple shirt and trouser. WOW! She gaped but was not mesmerized only disappointment as to why cupid has to throw this true love kisses at her.  The question is should true love be questioned and weighed based on the physically?

More than 50% of women will always say yes because more than 50% of the women folk are a product of the romance novel generations where everything is a fantasy and the world is so perfect. If we could only see the man behind the man then love would mean something more. There are three things every woman thinks about when it comes to a short spouse, BF, lover…. or whatever you would like to call it.

 PARTY SCENE: Can i actually show up at a party and in public with this guy beside me without having to feel that poisonous touch of shrugging embarrassment as to “be him presentable enough”.

THOSE FRIENDS: What would my friends think when they see this guy around me. He would seem more like a chaperone than a lover. Who knows I might just tell them his just a friend! Oops!

BEDMATICS: How does one feel having sex with a guy that height!? More like how good would he be in bed and what is the guarantee I wouldn’t be repulsed by him to the point of not allowing my feelings get into the game.

These are all questions gagging for answers but a wise woman once said something to me and till this day it stuck. “There is no such thing as an ugly man”, and then it hit me right there! If Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman could look so great together what would it take from me to make that guy the “IT” man in my life; my true love? Simple! The meal may not look appetizing but I can bet a taste will convince you that you got to get more. just look beyond the surface and dig deeper and before you know it, you’re hooked and on your way to the alter with the most fabulous man alive and it’s not because you’re trying to make yourself happy by saying so or that you want to reproduce a would you say; self consolation but it’s just because you see what no one else would ever be able to see or understand. Love and happiness beneath all that little man there is a goldmine! Leave the romance and go for the real man.

Serenades to the Earth

The serenade of peace whispers in my ear,

Passing the trees, its hums collides with the voice of the talking leaves,

As the waterfalls so I fall for you, the trickles of water massages my skin

They produce a princess out of me, a glow even in the low

My skin becomes pregnant with pods are the sway of the river surface.

Every glide goes with your sweet and tender melody of calm.

 

Wooed like a virgin bride taken to her unknown

Am I? Every display is glazed with an oil of tenderness.

Should I? Adopt every chance to be the forearmed,

Ready! Like the ten virgins with oil-filled lamps

Readiness is my clear sign of uncertain clarity

A delve into the world of guilty pleasures and

Unquenchable fills.

 

When shall this anticipation end?

Perhaps it only just began like creation,

At the dawning of a newborn, creation repeats itself

There can be no endings to this charm,

Only the beginning of a lustrous combat

Between the serenades of the new and the charms of the old

To the anxiety of the unknown.